What Are You So Sad About?

November 28, 2008

Your not being shot at. You were given everything you have ever wanted. Society has gone so far to create a portion of life called “adolescence” where you are expected to do everything wrong, so you can do whatever you like. Why are we sad? Because this materialistic lifestyle has never, and will never even slightly bring anyone happiness. All it does is bring suffering, in the form of desire. The desire for more of everything. The joy of nothing has been forgotten, and replaced with desire, the desire for something. This beautiful gap of nothing has been replaced with horrible things like television, video games, class A drugs, facebook, and other like-minded people who just hold you back. How do we break free from the shackles of material? Move to a small village on a remote Pacific Island? Strap yourself with a bomb and walk into a mall? NO! In science it is called mitosis, when the cell splits and creates a new cell. You must break away from your left brain tendencies, and become your true happy self. Leave the desire behind, forget about it. Be happy.



November 26, 2008

Expensive-costing a lot of money

Ex-Out of, away from, removal from.

Pensive-engaged in, involving, or reflecting deep or serious thought.

So to buy something expensive is to do away with thought, making you an idiot.


November 26, 2008

New Blazer, Check. Next level of skinny jeans, check. Indian food, check. Seeing The Wailers, CHECK. Not having enough money to pay for parking, priceless.

What’s wrong with taking a bath? I just took my first bath in 10 years and I can easily say it was the most rewarding experience of my life. I’m so taken back by the results, I am going to repeat this regularly. For one, I am clean. Very clean indeed. Secondly, I am relaxed. More relaxed than a Southerner on a humid sunday afternoon. Thirdly, it was something different. Something only influenced by my lack of a shower curtain. It’s sad that it takes an inconvenience to awaken the soul to something so dumbfounding, so ordinary that you never even thought to do it. Why doesn’t everyone take baths? Because there is no such thing as an express bath. A bath takes time, preferably as much as possible. People do not have time to relax, not because they are too busy to relax, it is because they think they are too busy to relax.

Think of all the time wasted rushing. That time could be used for something useful, like nothing, a bath, or a stroll into town. Relax, be merry, and remember that most things in life do not matter at all.

Loose Leaf Or Notebook?

November 19, 2008

I’ve always opted notebook over loose leaf because of the backup plan dotted lone included in case of emergency. But do I really need to jump straight to a backup plan? Wouldn’t that just make it a regular plan? Why can’t I buy loose leaf paper for use when I need paper to float about freely and a non-perforated notebooks for taking notes? Because thats too hard, paper is paper, right? Whatever works, works. No, it may work, but does it work correctly? Practicality is wrong, the easy and efficient way nourishes quantity over quality. 

A loose leaf sheet, given it has been unharmed by sharp objects and/or your golf shoes, is a perfect rectangular piece of stationery. Ideal for the writing of new ideas, the stealing of others ideas, or the bullshit I am about the write for Religion class. A non-perforated piece of parchment in a notebook is used for note taking and is prepared to stay in that notebook for all of eternity and more. By ripping this sheet out along the dotted line, you have become an immoral person and will die. But what if you rip it right in half? Well then it’s not a full piece of paper any longer, simply a parcel of what used to be a tree, making you a murderer.

As you can see, the easy way out offers no escape, either way, in the end you are fucked.


November 19, 2008

I have come up with a Bill that I may or may not submit the House of Representatives. 

Article 1: Wine is perfectly legal for everyone above the age of 6.

Article 2: Anyone that feels it is okay to drive after drinking will be shot on the spot.

Article 3: Anyone who abuses drinking will be sent to Wyoming, along with everyone who is against this Bill.

Article 4: If alcohol is transferred from minor to minor, the original possessor of the alcohol will take full responsibility for the actions of the minor on the receiving end, therefore both will die.

Article 5: As previously stated, the drinking age for wine is 6, for beer it is 6 years and 9 months old, for hard alcohol it is 7, and for wine coolers, 37. 

Article 6: There will be a free taxi service ran by “Meals On Wheels” for all drunkards who are unfit to drive.

Visual Art Bands.

November 18, 2008

I’m going to start a band. A band of artists, you know the visual ones. I mean, if there can be a band of musicians, why not visual artists? We will be “playing” at venues anywhere between New York and London. (Thats right Atlantic Ocean, we hate you.) There will be a band of writers opening for us, mostly authors of encyclopedias and those “For Dummies” books. Hate us or love us, we’ll get a crowd, and if we are lucky they will throw their left over fruit at us, because after all, we are starving artists.

Everyone has their chance to be on top in life, be it in preschool, the workplace, or backgammon. In preschool, he who thinks girls are icky the most and can run the fastest reigns supreme. In high school, usually the person who conforms to the idiocy of society the most defines “cool”. 

But what is so good about being on top? The desire to be on top is appetitive, once one reaches the top, the desire for more only grows stronger. But if one is on the top there is nothing else to strive for, making this a proverbial “double whammy”. Happiness couldn’t be further away. So what is there to strive for if this “success” is all in vain? For nothingness, for a life where the only thing taken is experience, for a oneness of the mind. So please, hop off the Gravy Train and beat your own path, you might see some interesting things along the way.

It Must Be Nice.

November 16, 2008

Numerous times in my life I have heard someone say in regards to being wealthy, “It must be nice.” I don’t think that is accurate, it’s no different. In order to get something, one must give something up. So be happy with what you have, obtaining more could make it disappear.

Thoughts On Shopping.

November 16, 2008

I am a horrible shopper. Enthusiastic, yet indecisive. Today, I walked around the store over and over looking at everything, but I couldn’t seem to trick myself into thinking that I needed anything. At this point I ventured to the sales rack, and for a time all was calm. As I perused through the items on sale, I was displeased to find that nothing was my size. Why? Well, it’s Urban Outfitters, all hipsters wear smalls, therefore they were gone. Amidst my third round through the sales rack a scarlet t-shirt with a large Tiger on the front caught my eye. SCORE. A further investigation of the overpriced items displayed throughout the store revealed a Cardigan. A Cardigan that says “Oh hey, I’m not afraid to look like an old man, but there are white stripes on the sleeve so I’m much cooler than you.” In other words, dignified yet in your face. Needless to say, I purchased said Cardigan and seem to be wearing it right now. 

Sounds like a successful shopping trip, right? Nope, I failed to obtain my next level of skinny jeans. If you are wondering what that means, I am easing myself into skinny jeans. Presently I am at the semi-skinny phase, the next step is skinny and I am prepared. Expect to see me wearing a pair by the end of this fortnight.

And finally, when I say shopping, I mean shopping in all its forms, from grocery shopping to hat shopping to buying an ice cream cone. When it comes down to it, it is that I really don’t how to want things and properly execute obtaining them. Maybe it’s my inner self coming out and saying “You know materials will not make you happy.” But when I shop I am not searching for happiness, I am searching for something to broadcast me better than the clothing I already have in my arsenal. An upgrade of caliber if you will.

Hooray for Goodwill.