Dear Jeremy. March 14th 2007

June 30, 2008

Why we should not make unauthorized vocalizations in our classroom of learning.


            Thou shalt not make unauthorized vocalizations in our beloved classroom of education.  The Xavierian educational setting has been designed by the founders of the Xavierian order of brothers to enhance the learning by decreased vocalizations in our educational area of enhanced learning.

            When the Xavierian Brothers founded the Xavierian school system did not intend for our vocalizations to be so frequent and disruptive to our highly respectable professor of Theology.  Our vociferous vocalizations antagonized Professor Fowler.  Consequently, we impelled him to amplify his voice in our direction forcing some of us to sob because of the verbal thrashing.   This weeping compelled us to discontinue our vocalizations and we consequently halted our mindless babbling. 

            Professor Fowler is quite the teacher of theology.  Daily he arrives in our room of education prepared to distribute his wisdom to my peers and I.  We do not always remain attentive throughout our class time.  This displeasures Professor Fowler and it forces the members of our daily seminar not to learn the provided material.  Us not learning the provided material infuriates us because when we become assessed on the material we fail miserably.

            The only situation that you may vocalize is when Professor Fowler grants you express written consent.  The specific condition that must be present to be granted this honor is: Your proposed vocalizations must be on topic and not offense to Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, African-American, Middle Eastern, Southern European, Northern European, Chinese, Japanese, Australian, Aboriginal Australian, Native American, Canadian, Inuit, Maya, Aztec, Inca, Polynesian, Hawaiian, Mexican, African, Greek, Russian, Siberian, Indian, Jamaican, Iraqi, Iranian, Israeli, North Korean, South Korean, Okinawan, Malaysian, Cuban, Tasmanian, and/or  Peruvian individuals.  If your proposed vocalization does not fit the extremely simple guidelines given above you will not receive the express written consent needed for authorized vocalization.

            My inconsolable disrespect towards Professor Fowler hopefully will be forgiven, I express with utmost woe, my grief.  



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