Dinner and a Movie

June 15, 2008

Dinner + a Movie = Prostitution

How? you ask?

Its a simple process, kind of like money laundering, except these establishments are no laundromats. These businesses are oblivious to their dirty ways and should be informed and/or shut down.

This is how it works:

The man (if this is a non-feminist heterosexual relationship) asks a woman if she would like to go out. After she complies, the man makes sure his back seat is emptied of all impurities that will prevent him of “getting some stank on his hanglow”.  He then commences to pick the woman up at her residence and drive to the eating establishment of their choice (if your a cultureless american that means chowder pot). The man and woman take their seats and order the dish of their choice. After their meal the dirty business commences.  The man takes out his wallet, not even attempting to hide his actions, and hands over the cash.  The woman declares (after seeing the size of the bill) “that meal was delicious”, indicating her satisfaction with the transaction. (After intense investigation, I concluded that the pay, by the transitive property, is given through the ingestion of food.) They later go onto the movies where the second half of the pay is handed over. They are handed tickets (ideally to a chick-flick) and go inside to “watch a movie”. After viewing the film, with the first round of hanky-panky done, they climb into the back seat of the man’s freshly cleaned vehicle. The woman declares “Tonight was splendid.” (As we all know the use of the word splendid screams prostitute) then the testing of the brand new shocks of his corolla begins.

This simple process should have you convinced of the illegitimacy of the ancient practice of Dinner and a Movie.  The money is exchanged for sex through the purchasing of pointless entertainment and shitty food.

Be a good citizen, alert the officials.

999 if in England

112 in in Norway

113 if in Italy

911 if in USA






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